I started sputtering yesterday. Something was wrong. Off. And, instead of figuring out what that thing was, I ignored it. Went to bed with it. And it was worse this morning.
While I still don't know exactly what it is, I'm sitting down. Meditating. Pulling out the plugs, the sprockets, everything. I'm going to blow dust off everything. Grease what needs to be greased. Make sure every piece is in it's perfect form, before reassembling it.
What exactly does that mean?, you may be asking. Well, it will take various forms: fasting, then a vast change of diet for a while, starting with citrus fruits and then foods with more caloric complexity, until I know what's working for me and what isn't; a return to a spiritual center; taking time to be alone with myself without feeling the need to hide or fix something; maybe a long walk; writing again; reading again; tea instead of coffee ... Well, not too much too soon.
What do I know now? I know that, although I never really liked it before, I've developed a taste for ginger. And, I only told one lie today. And it was a small, correctable, one.
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