Animis opibusque parati

We passed into South Carolina today. Unfortunately, between the three of us—Skip, Bee, and me—and the two lovely people we spent the night with, M. and C., we managed to oversee Skip’s computer charger sitting on the ottoman in the living room. Skip and I were in Gastonia when we realized this. So, after we shot our roll at the South Carolina border, I turned around and headed back to Charlotte.

The drive was pretty though, and I stopped frequently to take pictures of signs I found humorous, as well as the sight of a goat tied up in the front lawn of a trailer. I took a photograph, but it might have well been one of the infamous Bigfoot photographs of yore, with a blurry and disputable subject. (Side note: I read in a book recently that, based on my birthday and year and phase of moon and all that jazz, my power animal is supposed to be a Sasquatch. I don’t know why, but I kind of like this, maybe even enough to get a tattoo of it.)

It doesn’t take long for South Carolina to distinguish itself from its northern counterpart. I laughed when I saw the Piggly Wiggly in Blacksburg. I craved peaches at the first stand I passed, and lit up like a roman candle at the first fireworks stand I drove by—come to think of it, it might have been the same stand. I considered all this while relishing the fried bologna sandwich I had for dinner when I finally met up with Skip.

I arranged for Skip and I to spend the night next to the Valley fire station in East Gaffney. (A big thank you to Craig who stayed outside and chatted with me in the chilly October evening, inviting Skip and I to come over to his house and shoot guns the next morning if we felt like it, and to Chief Happy who gave us the permission to camp there in the first place.) Skip arrived around 10 and I was wrapped up like a mummy within the hour, with only the hair on my chinny-chin-chin protruding from my sleeping bag.

Charlotte Harlots

BJ and his friend, Skip, Bee, and I stood out in front of the downtown public library of Charlotte on Saturday from 10-1, greeting people and networking. Thanks to a short piece written in The Charlotte Observer, people came to sign BJ's book and to meet both him and Skip. We interviewed a few people for our documentary, and even managed to collect some minor donations. Skip and BJ interviewed each other for our mutual projects, and when that was all over we did some fun filming for our documentary. I know that it would have kept me in college another five years but, sitting on the ground filming, I wish I had gone to film school. There was one summer I tried to convince my mother to send me to a summer program at NYU film, but it was expensive and she had already contributed to many of my earlier endeavors by posting bail money. I had thoughts and images exploding like fireworks in my head about how I wanted scenes to look, shots I wanted to shoot, sequences I wanted to film, etc., but without the direction, discipline, and experience for which film school would have provided a foundation. Skip had a very clear idea of how he wanted things shot; his experience comes from having viewed more movies than anyone I have previously met. This was one of the more difficult hours in my week, and it reestablished for me that I am performing in a capacity, as a cameraman and documentary filmmaker, in which I have neither formal nor informal prior experience. It is not my preferred method to learn--like learning Spanish by being kidnapped in Bolivia--but I'm learning at an exceeding rate, and I hope this is reflected in the shorts that will be posted from time to time of our experiences. I did have a chance to talk shop with a fellow freelance photog who arrived from Channel 14 news to film us and our endeavors to meet and greet the Charlotte public.

Bee and I left with Lindsay, our host from Couchsurfing who came to hang out with us for a while downtown, to fetch lunch at Burger King for Skip. On our way back through a plaza, we passed a legitimate pimp yelling at one of his girls. The passing comment we heard was something like, "Y'need to work during the week too, not jus' on the weekends!"

After all of the filming was wrapped up, BJ, Skip, Bee, and I went down to a pizza place to get an early dinner and watch the news, hoping to see a clip of us all on Channel 14. During our two hour stay, hordes of people in costumes kept walking by on the opposite side of the street, ostensibly on a Halloween pub crawl. From the looks of it, it was a well-organized event, and the collective costuming was impressive. The pervasive impression--I'm not complaining--left on me, and I have witnessed this tradition developing over the last few years, is that Halloween is becoming more and more a spectacle for women to parade around in scantilly clad costumes, as if it were an excusable novelty to dress as a seductive French maid or superhero strumpet, to later dismiss on a holiday whose tradition has been progressing more and more toward this result. I think my real issue with this is the general observances of holidays. Those who know me best know that I have issues with holidays, but that I generally appreciate and uphold traditions I believe in. Halloween was always a bigger holiday in my home growing up because it was also my sister's birthday. But, the older I get and the more time I passes, I am realizing how things change and how I'm not always comfortable with those changes. Still, the Alice's-in-Wonderland held my attention until I realized I was only sucking air out of my fountain soda.

Hooters & a BJ

Skip and I worked most of Friday uploading video (check out our "DC Relections") and writing from Java Jackson's, across from UNC Charlotte. While there, one of my closest friends, Bee, drove up from her home in Greenville, SC, to meet us. Bee has been working pro bono for PFEE since I briefed her on this adventure weeks ago. Thanks to her, we have media in Greenville locked down.

Skip and I are keeping a running list of things that we would like to do on this trip (will be posting in the near future). While something like "Witness a bris" is on my list, one of the things on his list was "Go to Hooters;" you know, for the burgers. This is also the venue we chose to finally meet up with BJ Hill [Skip's note: The Happiest Place on Earth], who is also walking across the U.S. with a book of messages he intends to pass on to our next president. Bee and I know BJ from our AmeriCorps *NCCC days. (Read earlier blog entry.) There was a little reminiscing of that time by the three of us, but the dinner was monopolized mainly by Skip and BJ smelling each other out.

During the conversational butt-sniffing, I had to retreat to the bathroom. It seems that my body has not quite readjusted to eating meat again, especially meat marinated in Hooters hot sauce. Remember that scene in The Goonies, when that whats-his-name jerk is sitting in the public restroom when all of the public water facilities in the town decided to explode all at once? Well, it was kind of like that.

A Day in the Life of a PFEE Pilgrim

7:o1 am - First car pulls into the parking lot of the furniture warehouse where, in the front lawn, I decided to set up camp the night before. Skip thinks that I like to set up camp in conspicuous places because it forces him to get up early. I peer out from the tent see the guy eyeing me; I know I have about 45 minutes until the sheriff pulls up. have a precognitive ability for these things. Sure enough, 45 minutes later, almost to the exact minute, the sheriff pulls into the parking lot and up next to my car, where I wait for him.

7:45am:

I greet him first. “Good morning.”
“Is this y’all’s stuff right here?” pointing to the tent and my car.
“Yes, sir. It’s not a problem is it?”
“Yessuh. This here’s private property. There’s a public park jus’ down the road.”

The rest of the conversation is pretty much the same. It turns out that the warehouse has been robbed a few times and the people there get “might prickly” seeing stangers about. I tell him we will be moving along, and then ask him to apologize for us for getting the employees “prickly.” Once the sheriff explains who we are to the person who phoned him, the gentleman doesn't mind at all if we stay. He even tells us we can leave the tent there to dry off if we like, while we go into town to have breakfast. I think this is might charitable of him.

10:30 I stand in the middle of a cotton field with the camera waiting for Skip to walk by so that I can get my shot.

10:50 Skip walks by.

10:53 I make my way out of the cotton field, camera in one hand high in the air, coffee in the other hand higher than the camera. Cotton pods are sticking to my pants as if they are telling the fibers in them to come back home.

11:30 I write a story about my experiences in the south from an old-fashioned drug store that still serves malts and ice cream in the back. “Rich is getting lost in what you do,” is written on a piece of art in the back of the store.

12:30 I meet Skip for lunch at a Hardee's along the road he is walking on today. As usual, we talk about the plan for the day.

12:50:03 Skip whines about walking.

12:50:27 I refer to Skip as "Nancy" and tell her that I can get a tampon from the car if she needs it.

1:30 I get back in the car and head for Charlotte.

2:12 The road where I am supposed to make a left does not exist.

3:37 After driving around in every possible direction, I pick up the trail again and find my way to the condo where we are staying this evening.

4:18 Even though I am at the right address (I think), I can't seem to find the building number. I decide to find a coffeeshop to work from.

4:29 I set up at a coffeeshop.

4:31 I get a phone call from a reporter at The Charlotte Observer. I take the phone call outside, give him the information, and direct him to Skip.

4:35 For the next twenty minutes I call 8 radio stations and 1 television station. Meanwhile, Skip is doing his interview for the Observer on the road.

4:45 I text Skip and give him the number to call for the radio station that has agreed to put him live on the air, but only within the next hour.

4:51 Skip calls me and tells me he was just on the air and that the Observer is going to post a story online tonight, as well as post a printing tomorrow morning. He tells me, "good job."

5:39 I show up at the address where we are staying for the night and knock on the door. The kids inside tell me that Lindsay doesn't live there anymore.

5:42 I sit down on the curb beside my car and text Skip. I have a bag of mixed nuts at my feet.

7:00 Skip arrives in the condominium complex; I have half a bag of mixed nuts at my feet.

7:17 We figure out that we are in the right complex, but in front of the wrong building.

7:24 We meet our host.

8:01 We have dinner.

9:09 We have both showered.

9:41 Skip is faced down on the couch; I am snoring on the floor.

I'm Going to Eat Your Brains

The best thing about deciding not to be a vegetarian for a while is not caring what is on a menu and whether or not you can eat it. Last night was one of those nights where Skip and I didn't even want to look at the menu. It wasn't that late at night, but both of us were tired and we were sitting in a 24-hour diner with a big menu. I was going to tell the waitress to surprise me, but Skip didn't think that was a good idea. I have a way of putting people off sometimes apparently. I didn't expect to see anything new, but my eyes did find one little gem: brains and eggs. Done.

My mother talks stories of my Baba eating scrambled calf brains and cows tongues and the like, and yesterday was the night before her birthday, so in a weird weary way I decided that eating brains wouldn't just be a good experience for me, but it would make her proud too. I was served a big plate of brains and eggs, and a healthy mound of grits. I washed it down with three large glasses of orange juice. An hour or so later, my belly was full and I fell fast asleep in my tent, on the lawn of a Baptist church, by the highway.

Highlights from Chapel Hill

Thursday, October 16, 2008:

Skip and I finally figured out how to edit some video and he posted it to multiple sites, such as YouTube, Myspace, Facebook, and others. That fine camera work (OK, the first footage going up the Washington Monument is a little rough, I admit, but it was my first day behind the camera) is by yours truly.

Friday, October 17, 2008:

I am taking a break from being a vegetarian for the next few months for the following reasons ( feel free to debate their validity):

1. Skip takes care of the meals and we have completely different tastes. It's more practical to eat where he is eating rather than trying to find a place where they serve vegetarian fare.
2. I could always cook or prepare my food, but there is not enough time in the day.
3. It's The South, where most rural cuisine consists of cow, pig, chicken, deer, opossum, rabbit, squirrel, or groundhog meat.
4. I will be in Europe soon and I know that if I set foot on German soil I will be enjoying weiswurst within that same hour.

I made this decision at Biscuitville, outside of Chapel Hill, where I sat down to the fried pork biscuit covered in gravy (the gravy was extra). When we fall, we fall hard; go big or go home.

still Friday, October 17, 2008:

I heard someone somewhere say that luck is just probability taken personally. But even as a mathematician, Skip wonders WTF? As the more spiritual of the two travelers, I believe destiny has come in play. Let me explain:

A few days before, I received a phone call from Bee that there was another walker passing through South Carolina, and he was going to be in a public place for a few hours signing his book. When she casually mentioned that his name was BJ Hill, my ears perked. I asked her, "Weren't we in AmeriCorps with a 'BJ Hill'?" She stopped a moment and said, "No; do you think?" Readers, it is the very same BJ Hill that Bee and I were both in the AmeriCorps program with years ago. Bj is walking from California to Boston (the exact same opposite direction as Skip) with a book that people from all over the nation are signing with messages to our next president. With a little research, we found out that BJ and Skip are going to be in Charlotte at the same time. Now, the probability of two walkers, whom I both know, being in the same city, at the same time, is weird enough, but there are other coincidences that cause one to wonder about the metaphysical fabric of this human experience. For one, both Skip and BJ taught TEFL and ESL courses. OK, not that weird. But, they also seem to have a preoccupation (in Skip's case read: obsession) with Superman. It makes me want to read more Jung and his thoughts on the collective consciousness.

Saturday, October 18, 2008:

Skip and I saw W. this day. As a movie, I would say it was alright--2 1/2 stars out of 4. As a biopic, especially as an Oliver Stone film, I have to take it with a grain of salt. I almost had some sympathy for W., brilliantly portrayed by Josh Brolin. The most unsettling factors for me in the film were W.'s faith--someone who believes he has almost a divine right to be President of the United States--and the portrayal of W.'s administrative cabinet. Richard Dreyfuss's Cheney is haunting, but Rice's portrayal is almost comical, more an impersonation than a portrayal. I would recommend it as a rental or a place in the top 60 of your Netflix queue.

Later in the evening Skip and I went into Raleigh for a Couchsurfing meet & greet. It was fun; there were about seven of us around a table at an Irish pub-type place, talking about CSing and Skip's trip. The highlight of the evening for me was looking across the street where models stood in the window of a vintage shop, modeling hipster bridesmaid dresses. They reminded me of the last scene of Secretary, when Maggie Gyllenhaal is wearing her black dress and is getting some post-nuptial consummating while bound to a tree. Hot.

Sunday, October 19, 2008:

Skip and I met up with a friend at the Weaver St. Market in Carrboro, NC, for brunch. It was a beautiful fall day and we spent hours there chatting and listening to the Latin music performers.

Later in the afternoon, I met up with another of my friends from AmeriCorps, Andeliene, at the Open Eye Cafe. We sat and chatted and went back and forth between work until we were hungry and went to grab a bite to eat at The Spotted Dog, where even Skip tried the vegan "chicken" wings (he didn't care for them). We then went over to The Southern Rail to finish some work and have some libations before each of us went out separate ways. My way was with Scottie, another friend from here, whom I roamed the streets of Carrboro and Chapel Hill with until past 2 in the morning.

Monday, October 20, 2008:

Skip and I were supposed to get back on the road, but it didn't happen. Instead, we met again for brunch at the Weaver St. Market, and then went back over to the Open Eye cafe to try and get some work done for Charlotte later in the week.

In the evening I went to a meeting, where I met another documentary filmmaker who recently won some recognition at Cannes. She gave me a copy of her film, we traded info., and then I went out with some people for a few slices of pizza at a local place. When I came out of the pizzeria, my car was on the bed of a tow truck. In order for me not to have it towed and pay the entire cost of towing, I bribed the driver to let it down, drive away, and forget about the whole thing.

Bohemian Ravine

Events from Wednesday, October 15, 2008:

When I caught up with Skip this day, I pulled off the road onto the nicest patch of grass I could find, so that we could have lunch under the trees. What I failed to realize in doing this was that the patch of grass I had chosen happened to be in front of a federal prison. It was not long before security came out to us and asked us what it was we were doing. I had learned by this point in the trip that it is just better if Skip speak with the authorities, instead of me.

On the road to Chapel Hill I passed a “Waterfowl Impoundment.” Really? Is this somewhere personal waterfowl is taken if people fail to make payments on them, or is this a place stray waterfowl is taken in the hopes that they are adopted by families interested in owning them as pets? I suppose I could Google the answer to that query, but it’s more fun for me to wonder.

It’s nice to be able to come back to Chapel Hill. I knew I loved this place the first time I came here, a decade ago when I traveled with the Harford Community College field hockey team, the Hooters, to play in the UNC tournament. There are only good memories for me here; every time I return I realize just how much I love it all over again.

For the duration of this stay, Skip and I crashed with one of Skip’s oldest friends, P., and P’s girlfriend, S. As soon as I walked up to their door I knew that it was going to be comfortable week. The sign, “Hippies Use Side Door,” was posted in the window of the front door, so I walked around and met P on the side. We chatted for a while, with P telling me that I was in what is affectionately referred to by the court as "Bohemian Ravine," before I let him return to his Ph.D. dissertation work. It wasn’t long before I was at the Open Eye Café in Carrboro catching up on writing of my own. Later that evening all four of us went down to the Southern Rail for the final presidential debate and the Season Finale of Project Runway.

What Do You Want on Your Tombstone?

Events from Tuesday, October 14, 2008:

After a hot shower and a decent night’s sleep, I was pissing fire, ready to get some work done. The first two phone calls Skip wanted me to make were done before I left the hotel. The third item on my agenda was to contact the local newspaper in Henderson, NC, the Daily Dispatch. Before I did this though, I went to Bank of America to deposit a check; there, a nice southern woman gave me the name of a contact at the Daily Dispatch: A.W. She told me the Dispatch was right down the street, next across from the new library. I walked into the Dispatch and asked personally for A.W. When he came around the corner I knew I had found a southern reporter. He embodied everything I expected of a regional journalist—short sleeve button-up shirt (mis-buttoned), khaki pants, tennis shoes, holding a steno notepad. I introduced myself and launched into my spiel while he scribbled notes in longhand.

When I told him that I never know the exact location Skip is in, he acted as if driving out to find him on the outskirts of town was going to be too much of a hassle. I asked him, “Isn’t that the adventure of journalism?” He looked at me wearily and said, “Sometimes,” to which I replied, “Well then, do it for the story.” He went around the corner and when he came back he told me that he was going to send a photographer out there—we were going to have a story!

A.W. and I decided to take his car out to meet Skip to get the rest of the story. His car was a reporter’s car, Chick-Fil-A and Wendy’s refuse on the passenger floor. He attempted to dismiss this away with the comment, “I guess the maid forgot to come this morning.” We took the long way through town and out the other side in order to find Skip, all the while shooting the s- about the months ahead and my “Sabbatical” in Europe. We finally found Skip, stood in the middle of the road for the interview, and left Skip after an hour. When we got back to the Dispatch, A.W. told me he would mail a copy of the paper back to my permanent address in Grace.

The remainder of the day was fairly uneventful. I drove ahead to Stem, NC, and set up camp in a field with the sun setting over the trees behind me and a Hunter’s Moon rising up over the pine trees across the other side of the field. Right in front of the trees, deer were out for their evening meal.

When I drove back to meet Skip, I found him in front of a convenience store gas station, where a sheriff was getting out of the car. I don’t know why I, of all people, thought I could help, but I sped up and hopped out of the car. It turns out that someone in Providence, NC, saw Skip walking down the road pushing a twin stroller and whoever called thought that this constituted a threat to the county. Of course, with a sheriff and two drifters in front of the cultural hub of the town, everyone came out of their singlewides to find out what was going on. One of the fellars told us that this was the biggest thing to happen there in a month. I asked, “What happened last month?”

The sheriff got some information from Skip, and drove away, leaving us out front with the philosophers of Providence. The leader of the bunch, “Plato Lee,” invited us back to his home, where he promised Skip and I a “southern meal” and told us “he would take care of us.” We shot some pretty hilarious footage outside during the BS session, which conversations that sounded like:

Plato (to me): I can tell, lookin’ at you, that you are not a dumbass.
Me: Well, thank you very much. Would you mind calling my father to tell
him?

Skinny philosopher (to Skip): I had a guy jus’ up the street pull a gun on
me a week ago, jus’ ‘cause I drive a Chevy.
Me: Oh yeah, how do they feel about Volkswagens?

After a while we walked next door to Plato’s abode. The southern meal laid out on the coffee table in front of the television: a Tombstone pizza and two glasses of moonshine. I, unfortunately, had to pass on the moonshine. When I declined the shine, you would have thought that I had accused Dale Earnhardt of being gay. I told Plato that Skip would have mine, but I continued to get strange looks the rest of the evening. The rest of this story is too long and too rich for a blog entry; please expect a fuller story of this evening to appear in a periodical sometime in the future. (I would like to make a note now though, that in the 400+ miles I have traveled with Skip, and in Skip’s 800+ miles, these were the first people to meet us and immediately invite us into their home for dinner. They were good people with strong convictions and loyalty to family, and they truly embodied the spirit of southern hospitality. For the meal and the comfortable hours spent there, I am grateful.)

The short of the story, though, is that there was some mooning caught on camera, shortly before I left to go back to the tent. Skip agreed to spend the night in their guest bedroom, where he laid awake listening to Plato and his wife fighting, and occasionally heard muffled yells with keywords such as “gun” and “… I’m going to kill him.” Skip related to me later that he didn’t know who these words were intended for, him or me, but either way we had with our presence disrupted a delicate balance between moonshine and domestic harmony. After digesting a frozen pizza and all the racist political rhetoric I could stomach, I went back to the campsite. As this was the first night I would be spending alone in the tent, I decided it prudent to pull my machete from next to the driver’s seat where it is normally kept, and sleep beside it that night.

A Day Without Skip

Events from Monday, October 13th, 2008:

Skip gave me both his computer and his phone to charge for the day, which meant that we would be out of nearly complete communication for a few hours. We previously discussed this scenario and it was decided that if we should lose communication the alternative would be to construct cairns along the road for each other.

I spent the majority of the day in Henderson, NC, in a delightful little coffeeshop called Common Grounds. While Skip’s phone charged in my car, I sat inside with his computer, which took nearly 4 ½ hours to charge. (Side note: Skip does not like it when you reconfigure the settings on his desktop.) I calculated the directions from where I was to where I approximated Skip would be by that point in the day. When I left Common Grounds, it was 6:40pm, sunset, with about half an hour before twilight. Three of the four directions to the contact point with Skip were right on track; unfortunately, it was the last direction that cost me. In North Carolina, it seems, roads have at least three different names, and there doesn’t seem to be any pattern to the criteria that decides when a road will be one name and when it will change. What that meant for me, in this case, was that I was looking for Lee St., which was going to take me to Jacksontown St., which is where I figured Skip would be; I didn’t realize that Lee and Jacksontown were the same street until hours later.

I then figured my best course of action would be to drive back over the border to Virginia where I had last seen Skip, and then trace his route to wherever he was, hoping to find cairns along the way. This was a good plan, but looking for roads and cairns is difficult to do at night, especially when you are driving 60+ miles an hour attempt to make up for lost time. I did finally see Cherry (Skip’s Chariot Carrier) by the side of the road, and when I saw Skip he did not look happy. He put up his arms in the “What the f-?” fashion. It was a good thing I anticipated this, because I handed him his dinner of chicken and Gatorade before I began to explain myself.

* * * * * *

I was able to redeem myself. Skip asked me to do one more thing before I looked to make camp somewhere: drive into Henderson and ask the Scottish Inn if they would be willing to comp a room for us for the night, in exchange for credits in the documentary, should it go that far. Having learned from a cowboy playboy years before, “The answer’s always ‘No’ if you don’t ask,” I agreed and drove into town. With the camera out and business card in hand, I walked into the Scottish Inns … and walked out a minute later, having been shot down. I phoned Skip and told him that I would try one more hotel before driving back; I tried three; the third hotel, the Ambassador Inn & Suites, said “yes.” I felt like the man. In Vegas, rooms get comped all the time, no big deal, but in Henderson, NC? I was riding high on the thought that I had redeemed myself from earlier in the day, and the realization that we were going to have a hot shower and comfy place to stay for the night.

Warning Signs

These next few blog entries will hopefully be shrapnel-writings—quick recaps from Blackstone, Virginia, to Carrboro, North Carolina:

Events from Sunday, October 12, 2008:

After breaking down the tent and passing Skip on the road to Wellville, I drove to the nearest and only place to find coffee in southern Virginia on a Sunday: McDonald’s. After fueling, I followed the directions to meet up with Skip, on his first dirt road of the trip, along a train track. It was a beautiful morning, warm, and the rays were just coming up over the trees, so I drove ahead to set up the camera and shoot some b-roll. The dirt roads didn’t bother me a whole lot; they reminded me of the logging roads in Nova Scotia Rough-Stuff Wilson and I joyrided on in our summer of misadventure up in the eastern province.

Shortly thereafter, Skip and I came to a series of crossroads, all of which were unmarked. I checked my map and saw that we had entered into Fort Pickett. We checked the navigation on his phone and backtracked a little, but we found the “road” easily enough. I drove on ahead—we were only supposed to be on it for a mile, so if it wasn’t the road I could easily turn around and let Skip know. Little did I know, nothing about the next hours were going to be easy.

The dirt road quickly degraded into #57 stone, manufactured crushed granite I was familiar with from my days as a geologist. 57 stone is great for military vehicles, like tanks, but do not bode so well for Volkswagon Golfs. I got about halfway down the hill, listening to the grinding and crunching of my car and the stone clanging around underneath, before I stopped and pulled over. I hopped out of the car and continued walking down the path to see if I could get a better idea of the terrain ahead on foot. I rounded a bend and saw a creek, about 8-10 inches deep and 20 feet wide. On the other side of this creek, there was a steep incline, laid down with #2 stone, a grade larger and rougher than 57. I waited for Skip to catch up with me, and then filmed him fording the creek, barefoot. I walked with him the rest of the mile up hill, to see if the road improved, and it did. I decided I would go back and force Bluto (Mr. Blutarsky, my car) quickly through the river and up the embankment up to where the grade of stone got smaller and smaller, until it finally became a dirt road again.

I hoofed back to the car, got in, rubbed the dashboard, said a little prayer, and apologized to Bluto. I waded down into the creek, but coming up on the other side my car began dislodging the stone and I felt my front end dropping. I quickly put it in reverse and stopped, right in the middle of the creek. For about three seconds I panicked with the thought of getting stuck there, in the water, in the middle of nowhere. I took a deep breath and gunned it forward; the discordant grinding worsened underneath—this wasn’t going to happen. I shifted quickly into reverse—thankfully Golfs are front wheel drive—and was able to make it up to the side of the creek I had been on before; I was going to have to find another way around.

I made it back to the crossroads and starting driving down a road, the wheel in one hand and a compass in the other. I was watching the road, watching the compass, when I came up to a “Do Not Enter” sign that someone had spray-painted over with black paint the phrases, “KILL,” and “GO BACK.” Of course, I grabbed the video camera and rolled tape. While I was doing this, a pickup truck drove up with two men inside. The driver asked me what I was doing, and I told him I was trying to make it to Route 40. He told me to keep on driving but get off of the property quickly, because the Marines were having a drill weekend. That was all the motivation I needed. I kept driving and, sure enough, before I got to Route 40, I passed an encampment of a squadron of Marines, hummers, huge-barreled launchers aimed at the sky… I knew that they wouldn’t have let me filmed but, looking back, instead of continuing to drive, I should have parked the car and hopped out, raked the muck a little. But, with all of the mishaps with the car, and the sign, my adrenaline was racing, and my flight response was dictating my actions. I have no doubt there would have been a better story in the middle of that camp.

Richmond to Blackstone - A Recap of Three Days on the Road, Pt. I

There's something about being in the South that makes me want to neglect my work and instead sit on the front porch watching traffic, sipping iced coffee, and shooting the bull with the locals. But, if I neglect my work, I neglect you, dear Readers, and it has already been more than a few days since my last post.

***

Thursday, October 9, 2008 - Richmond, I Take It All Back

The only other times I have seen Richmond, VA, has been moving at highway speeds on my way either up or down 95. (There was one time I did get within city limits, for those that recall the famous phone call,"I'm three miles outside of Havre de Grace. ... I think I'm in Virginia!" from my younger and more vulnerable years. Therefore, I don't know what I expected Richmond to be: cigarettes and industry, maybe.

Richmond, I owe you and apology. At first, finding the apartment of our Couchsurfing host, Richmond looked exactly as I expected it would, like the outskirts of Baltimore. I felt this way until I pulled onto Monument St. and saw a monument--promising. By the time I had pulled in front of the apartment and walked in to the three-hundred year old house, my opinion was 85% changed. It was charming. To top it all off, our host, B., was baking cookies for Skip and me.

Later that night, our host and her roommate K. took Skip and me down to "The Fan," where we spent several hours at a hipster bar called Helen's. It was then that I realized I owed Richmond a full apology.

***

Friday, October 10, 2008 - Next Thing You Know, Shorty Got Midlo, Lo, Lo, Lo...

It was a surprise to my old rugby coach and good friend, Little Joe, when I showed up at his house a second night in a row---this time to tell him that his beautiful wife, Sara (superhottie), had invited Skip and I to couchsurf their home for the night. Joe and Sara have two beautiful little angels (they take after their mother), M. and A., who are four and two, respectively. (I will tell you: if I wasn't on this journey, and I wasn't committed to graduate school, I would have liked to stay on as M. and A. manny.) They are the first little ones I have had a chance to spend any amount of time with since Camp, and I really needed a dose of their innocence, imagination, and energy at that point in the trip.

After reading M. a story before she went to bed, Skip, Sara, and I stayed up to watch My White Trash Wedding on CMT. Both Skip and I consider that hour and a half time well spent, "research," if you will, for our sojourn into the South.

***

Saturday, October 11, 2008 - The Road to Wellville

Most of Saturday was spent as a quiet traveling day that afforded me the opportunities to read in my car, and later in front of a general store name Sydnor's, in Mannboro, Virginia, where the help behind the counter resembled a young James Dean: clean shaven, spiked hair, sleeves rolled, collar up, blue jeans, boots. He had the accent and all the manners of a polite southerner, and allowed me to read my book in his rocking chair outside the store, for which I am grateful.

Skip finally caught up to me sometime in the evening, and we dined outside of the store on pizza, pickled eggs, and taters. He wanted to push on a few more miles, so I told him that I would drive ahead and set up camp for the evening. Several miles down the road I found a small, white Baptist church. After walking around the perimeter for a bit, listening to hound dogs and gun fire in the not-so-far off distance, I found a dirt access road partially obscured from the paved road, right next to the church, and I figured it would suffice for the evening. I backed my car in and set to work--I was losing daylight--on making a fire. In the woods I found a rusted out mailbox, the unfortunate victim of mailbox baseball, that served as my fire pit for the evening. I lined the mailbox with a cinderblock I had broken over a rock, and set to work on making the fire. With the help of a cardboard box from the car, I started the fire relatively easily. Once the fire was going on its own, I laid down my tarp, content to sleep under the stars for the evening.

I was dozing off to sleep when a pickup truck pulled into the access drive. Although my car was between me and the truck, one of the headlights was at just the right angle to catch me as I was sitting up. I realized that I had no protection: no shotgun, no buck knife, nothing. If worse came to worse, they were going to have to face Jack Johnson and Tom O'Leary (holds up fisticuffs). The guy in the passenger seat hops out holding a beer can. I ask him if everything is alright, shielding my eyes from the headlights. After he asks me what I was doing, and I threw out the "non-profit charity worker" line, he tells me that it's alright if I stay there the night, just not to let the fire get out of hand, because he had 50 acres behind me. Fair enough. I wished them both a good evening and watched them reverse back out onto the road. They drove away, and I went to change my pants.

That "Drifter" Look, Pt. II

If we had been doing this the old-fashioned way, finding nightly lodgings would be a lot easier. Breeze into a college town, find a bar, and have some young coeds take us home for the evening. While that is a possibility for Skip, it is not an option for me. (I’m hideous.)

After a late dinner at a truck stop Perkins, I told Skip that I would drive ahead but not more than 14 miles. We had looked at satellite imaging of the area, and there was a spot 10 miles from where we were. I told him that I would drive ahead, scout out his short lane off of the highway, and if it was good enough I would make camp. He could then crawl in and pass out in a few hours.

I drove down the road, but finding this lane on the opposite side of the road, at night polluted by industrial park flood lamps, was more difficult than I had anticipated. I drove at least 20 miles under the speed limit, then I sped up; I made at least 12 u-turns within a 4-mile radius; I made turns onto lanes and gravel roads, but then promptly turned around realizing: a) they were too sketchy, or b) … no, sketchiness was pretty much the only factor. (The one time I had found something promising, I passed a hulking figure on the side of the road. I didn’t see his face, and I didn’t want to see his flash of blade in the pale moonlight.) After driving through a ploughed field, I rounded an abandoned semi and found myself staring into the headlights of a county sheriff. Shit.

I signaled with my headlights that I would be driving up next to him. When I put down my window, he asked, “So, what are you doing?” I pulled the non-profit charity card and told him that I was just looking for a vacant lot to bed for the night. He told me there was nothing like that in the area, but if I wanted to go down to the light and head left I would find a truck stop in a few miles. I knew that I wasn’t going to do this and he probably saw it too because he said, “Follow me.”

“Are you taking me to the truck stop?” I asked.

He made that brief snort out of his nose that people do when they find something either really amusing or ridiculous; in this case, it was probably both. “Yeah,” he said, “follow me.”

The sheriff took me to a truck stop, where I hopped out of the car, nodded and waved, and then walked inside. I peered out of the window a few minutes later and he was still sitting there. I walked up and down a few isles, glanced briefly at the country music CDs they were selling, and then went back to the window. He was gone.

With that, I went back out to my car and decided to give it one last effort to try and find this lane. Otherwise, Skip was going to have to secure his own bedding for the night. I finally found the lane I had been looking for on my way back toward Ashland. The lane sign had been obscured by a tree, making it almost impossible to see coming from the other way. I drove down the lane slowly and pulled in front of a brick building that had a few cars parked outside. I walked around to the side and saw a grassy area that would work for the night--it was a clearing, but I figured if I set up the tent in a corner by the trees it would be fairly inconspicuous. I set up the tent (a Carolina blue hue) and walked around the woods, gathering ferns and branches to cover it with. After about twenty minutes I took a step back. It wasn’t bad; anyone giving the clearing a cursory glance might look past it … at night … with no moon.

The night itself was fairly uneventful. Skip found the tent a little before 1am and I went back to sleep.

I awoke around 7:45am to the sounds of machinery typical of an industrial park. I stepped out of the tent to use the bathroom and stretch my legs, and afterwards I decided to walk 30 meters over to the building to see on whose lawn we had spent the night. I walked up to the front door: Virginia Department of Corrections: Parole and Probation Office, District 41. Holy shit.

They also opened at 8:15, which means that in about twenty minutes this place was going to be lively with southern officers of the law. For those of you who know the story about Memorial Day Weekend in Macon, Georgia, on the lake, you already know that me and southern law especially do not get along.

Of the many differences between Skip and I, he does not have a record. I managed to wake him up, drag him out, make him take pictures of the set-up (for posterity), and dismantle the rain fly before the first person showed up for work. When I heard the car pull in I popped my head up from behind the tent, a meerkat sensing trouble. I have a sniper’s sense about PO’s, and she was not one of them. She had come early to turn on the lights and make the coffee—I was not waiting around for those coffee drinkers. Ten minutes later, camp was broken down and I was driving away, leaving Skip holding his own pup tent and sleeping bag, breathing in my exhaust fumes and dust.

That "Drifter" Look, Pt. 1

When I'm not filming Skip moseying down the road or scouting locations to shoot, I spend most of my days in coffeehouses, sending press releases to newspapers and member stations, trying to acquire sponsors, drafting interview questions, looking at schools in particular areas, writing, and trying to find places to sleep that particular night. All Skip has to do is walk.

Every now and then I also have things to take care of in my personal life. Yesterday, for example, I needed to have my picture taken for a passport renewal. I drove 30 miles ahead of Skip to Ashland, Virginia, and found a mecca of suburban sprawl along Rte. 1. In this oasis, I found a copy place (rhymes with "Pinko") that takes these pictures for passports, at minimal cost. Let me remind everyone: I am a gypsy; I live out of my car. That being said, I still try to make myself look as presentable as I can when greeting my public. I put on a green flannel shirt, with a hole or two, over my drab olive army t-shirt and buttoned it up. I ran my fingers through my greasy, curly locks and I walked in.

I could not have had a less affable employee. On top of that, he looked foreign. I smiled, asked him if I was in the right place, and without saying anything he grabbed a camera from under the desk and walked over to a wall behind me, where he pulled down a white projector screen and motioned for me to step in front of it. Now I'm thinking, Well, it is around lunch time, he might just be hungry. I'll crack a joke to make him laugh. So I say, "How do I look? I don't want to look like a terrorist," and I smile. He looks at me from behind the camera, and he looks pissed. I look down at his name tag: Hamid. Whoops.

Later, I thought I had found a place to stay the night on the outskirts of Ashland at a Pentecostal camp. I drove into the camp, past the sacrificial altar (I'm guessing, I know relatively little about their cult), and the mess hall, to the reception building. I nod to a gentleman reading a small black Bible on a bench outside and I walk in. I told the elderly receptionist, a gentleman who introduced himself as "Brother Ned," who I was, whom I represented, and that we were both hoping for lodging for the night. He looked over his spectacles and asked me if I was a Christian. I lied and said yes.
"And your friend, is he Christian as well?" he asked.
Again, I lied. If he had asked me to recite a prayer, I would have had no choice put to recite "Ezekiel 25:17" from Pulp Fiction. It was a good thing that the camp was too far out of the way for Skip, because I have a feeling they would have shaved our testicles in our sleep had we stayed.

When Egg Salad Sandwiches Go Bad

About a year and a half ago, a former girlfriend's mother sent with her daughter a generous slice of German Chocolate Cake for me, in honor of my birthday, which is in the late Spring. As much as I love German Chocolate Cake, I'm not as much a fan of my birthday. For this reason, possibly, or for some underlying subconscious resistance, I let that slice of cake sit in my car for about a week, where temperatures consistently rose over 100 degrees. A week late, I was hungry, and decided that I would really like that slice of cake. At the time, it was gooey and chocolatey and delicious. the next morning, face the color of plastic, I called out of work.

The egg salad sandwiches I ate yesterday, delicious as they were at the time, should have been eaten sooner. It didn't really hit me until I was running around with the Rappahanock Rugby Club at practice. During a mauling drill, I came out from the melee holding my stomach, not quite sure if I had mistakenly been punched in the balls, or I needed to grab a tree in the woods. It turned out to be the latter.

The coach asked me if I was alright, but I was already sprinting to my car for the toilet paper I keep in my kit bag. I found a spot next to the river, dropped my rugby shorts, grabbed a tree limb, and blew mud all over the ivy underfoot. I stood there for a minute, panting and sweating, before composing myself enough to clean myself off and get back into the practice.

How Much Is That Banjo in the Window?

While Maryland is south of the Mason-Dixon line, which qualifies it (technically) as a southern state, I believe most other Marylanders would agree with me in referring to home as a "neutral, mid-Atlantic" state. Virgina, however, is the South.

I've preceded Skip by several hours, and now sit in Hyperion Espresso, enjoying a capuccino, free wireless internet, and the coeds breezing in from the neighboring university, Mary Washington, which was once predominantly a women's college. Fredericksburg is a southern town. On the main street alone they have an Old Virginian Tobacco Shop, an Apothecary Publick House, and a music store with "Pickin'" in the title and a tenor banjo in the front window. After a breif walk through this quaint little Civil War town and a quick stop in the local newspaper to do some press work for Skip, I found my way here, where I can finally sit down and capture the last few days.

***
Sunday, October 5, 2008

Skip and I couchsurfed a writer's couch in DC. (We inadvertently played Footsie for two nights, as the couches were "L" shaped.) Her name is Jodi Lynn Anderson, and she is quite unassuming, unlike most writers I've met, given the number of books she's had published. I'll tell you, the day I get anything published, you will know. I will have telegraphers, yes telegraphers, exercising their pretty little fingers from coast to coast of this nation, keeping the wires buzzing with news of my magnum opus. Jodi, on the other hand, quietly shared with me a few of her novels; I told her a day later that I would try to push some for her. (You can also find more titles on Amazon.)

After loading the car during the magic hour, I gave my sleeping mat to a bum named Wade and headed for Virginia. Skip managed to secure two nights in the Watergate Condominiums in Alexandria, where we stayed with one of his friends from his Prague years, A., and her grandmother, J. (It is to be assumed that at least 92% of the residents of these condos are over the age of 70.) After a delicious pasta meal, A. took Skip and I down to relax in the hot tub. Swanky! Skip spoke a little Czech to a big, tan, lanky Czech, while I nodded and said, "Praha," the only Czech word I know. (I read it on a map about a month ago.) I took a few laps in the pool and then we all retired fairly early--Monday was a such a big day! (That one was for you, Jess and Sean.)

***
Monday, October 6, 2008

We hopped on the metro and hit the streets, though not as early as we would've liked, bound for National Geographic on 17th first. With a backpack and the video camera, I felt like a pack mule. If I learn anything on this trip, maybe I will learn to pack less. But probably not.

I was pretty stoked walking into National Geographic, until I realized that we were not getting past the front desk. When we left we were up one email address. A block away we entered the National Education Association, where at least we got to speak with a PR person and tell her a little bit about PFEE. She explained to us that most of the people we would need to talk to were in Nashville, working closely in and among the hubbub of the presidential race. When we left, we at least had made a contact. We next went down to NPR, and I really started to get excited ... until I realized that we were not getting past the front desk. When we left NPR, we were up another email address. Our last stop was at the American Federation of Teachers, where I got to swap sass with the security guard who was too busy eating her yogurt to really care about who we were. (*Note: check back here in a few days for the complete exchange. If it's not printed it's because I figured it was humorous enough to turn into some creative NF writing.) When we left, we were up another contact, and I was sporting my new Obama '08 sticker.

The most exciting part of the day came when Skip and I had to do some guerrilla camera work in order to shoot part of the documentary in Arlington National Cemetery.

I was falling asleep on the metro ride back, I was so tired. Of course, the first thing I did when we got back to the condo was take a nap. A. and J. made two beautiful, succulent quiches for dinner. I had mentioned wanting to work out after dinner, but when the meal was over Skip and A. sat down to watch Breakfast at Tiffany's and eat ice cream. Now, those that no me are thinking, "Well, that's a no brainer," and it should've been, right? I surprised myself, and kept my plan to get a work-out in down in the weight room of the condo. I would have been able to sit up this morning if I had just stayed on the couch and watched the film, sucking down spoonfuls of Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough. As it was, I nearly threw up in the parking lot.

To make a long story short, I went down to the weight room and was about to get under the bench press machine when a huge Ecuadorian says to me in broken English, "We work out together, yes?" Now, I don't have a very strong filter when it comes to bad ideas, although by the middle of the second set I had by then well realized that this was a particularly bad one. I strained under the four increasing sets of bench presses, before the Ecuadorian told me I had had enough. He poked me in the chest and said, "First, we work on super you, then we work on middle you," poking me in the stomach, "and then we work on lower you." Anticipating another poke, I stepped back and said, "Yeah, OK." Previously in work outs, I have never done more than maybe 30 crunches. However, standing next to this South American poster man for Men's Health, Equatorial Edition, I grunted out 120 abdominal crunches, from resting on my elbows and kicking out, to laying on a bench and kicking up, to trying to tap my toes from a 30 degree decline position. This is the point where I starting forming "water mouth." I told Luiz I was going to get a drink of water, but instead I was splashing my face and saying, "No, no," into the water fountain. He tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Now, bee-ceps," tapping the rock he had buried under a thin skein of forearm. I did the curls, I tried to do some pull-ups, but in a relatively short time, I was in the parking lot, forearm on an antique Porsche, bent over and saying, "No, no," to the pavement below.

Dos Gringos

Skip and I had breakfast at Dos Gringos in Columbia Heights this morning, where we sat down and formulated a plan, of sorts. Then we hit the streets. We got some b-roll shots of DC for the documentary, at the the White House, the Washington Memorial and the Lincoln Monument, as well as in front of the Capital Building. We were even able to interview a few people about next month's election and the issues most important to their vote. We also asked them how they felt about the state of education in the U.S. today--we might attach a short to Skip's site.

It's a good thing that Skip has hired me as his cameraman for this documentary, because after we spent an hour walking and riding the metro to get to the National Mall, we realized that we only had 2 minutes of tape left, and I had left the other tapes in Columbia Heights, along with the extra battery. The learning curve for documentary filmmaking is going to be pretty steep this first time around. (Side note: DC hates tripods.)

On top of that, finding people willing to stand in front of a camera and be interviewed is not easy. Three guys in black cowboy hats said they were "on a schedule" (a phrase I heard multiple times today). I'm convinced one elderly gentleman thought that I had a rabid skin disease because he would not even shake my hand. And the sorority of flag-footballers I handed out cards to never came up to get some camera time; it seems no one cares about education these days.

Here are a few things I am learning about Skip:

-He sings all the wrong words to "Come Together," all day long.
-He eats like a horse, if horses ate Burger King and not hay.
-His specialty in mathematics is in graph theory and combinatorics. (Wikipedia it; I had to.)

The District Does Not Sleep Alone Tonight

75 miles from Grace.

I'm staying in a fifth floor apartment in the Columbia Heights section of DC, just a few blocks from the The Chalfonte in Argonne Place where, in years past, I spent many a blissful evening.

The title of the blog? Another time. My purpose now is to explain to you, my dear readers, exactly what it is I'm doing here.

I represent Skip Potts, founder of the non-profit organization People for Education Equality pfee.org (pee-fee) as of ... well, today. We met exactly a week ago when he showed up on my doorstep, wet and panting--the first couchsurfer I had ever hosted. Skip is walking across the U.S. to raise awareness and funds for educational equality, and while that is something I can get behind, I have my own reasons for being here. Oh, that's right, Skip asked me to join him on his journey roughly 36 hours after we first met. Roughly, I will be Skip's SAG wagon for the next couple of months, transporting some equipment and helping him to document his experience. To read about Skip's experience in his own words, click here.

It is late in our nation's capital. Tomorrow will be one month till our presidential elections, and we have a lot of work to do. How do you feel about the state of education in our country today?